


One of Us

by Anonymous



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crack Ending, Drabble Collection, M/M, one of us au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 10:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15628650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In a world where the Stan switch went poorly, Ford is forced to make a deal. A series of loosely connected drabbles.





	1. Chapter 1

“Gotta tell you, Sixer, you made the right choice back there.” Bill put an arm around Ford. “Shame about Stanley, but, well, you hafta break a few eggs making an apocalypse.”

“Cut the small talk,” snapped Ford. “Where are the kids? Are they safe?”

“Alright, sheesh!” Bill rolled his eye. “They’re in that bubble over there, by the paintings. Probably playing Nintendo or whatever.”

“And you promise you won’t hurt them?”

“Not unless they escape, and what are the odds of that? But enough about them.” Bill pulled Ford closer. “I’ve been waiting a _lifetime_ to catch up.”

Ford flinched.


	2. Regret

“ _Yeah, they say 2000-zero-zero, party over, oops out of time!_ ” sang Bill. “ _So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s_ —Hey, Ford, why aren’t you dancing?”

Ford wiped away a tear from one of his many eyes. He gripped, with one tentacle, a small red fez with a fish on it.

“Aww, sad because your brother’s dead, Fordsy?” asked Bill. “We can always bring him back and kill him again, y’know!”

“No, I’m… just feeling wistful, is all.”

“Well, you don’t regret joining up with me, right?”

Ford gazed at the destruction they caused, the rivers stained blood-red. “Never,” he lied.


	3. Domestic Bliss?!?

A gas station attendant was taking a smoke break one day when she heard the sky rip in half. Startled, she looked up and watched in horror as the one-eyed pyramid argued with the many-eyed old man.

“Dammit, Stanford!” the pyramid snapped. “You never let me have any fun!”

“We’re not taking over this universe!” the old man countered. “We’re spread out too thin as it is.”

“Oh, sure, that’s _totally_ the real reason you’re objecting.”

“What, am I only _now_ too altruistic for you?”

“You’ve certainly been nagging a hell of a lot more lately,” the pyramid replied cattily.

“Well, maybe I feel like I have a right to!” said the old man. “After what you did to Stanley—”

“Oh my god, would you just let that go? You didn’t even like him that much! Why are you always on my case about it?”

“Because he was _family_ , Bill.”

“Ugh, don’t get me started on that,” said the pyramid. “Family’s just another way for assholes to control what you— Hey, where ya going? Sixer, come back!” The pyramid followed him through the hole in the sky. It closed up behind them.

The attendant blinked. “My supervisor’ll never believe this.”


End file.
